It’s Complicated
I’ve spent a lot of my own like trying to fit into those simple categories of “Pastor” or “church planter” or “Star Wars Fan,” but I’ve never really thought about how hindering that could be to our own creativity! Here’s what Kat has to say:
I used to lead a get-to-know-you game with teenagers where I asked them to tell me everything important about themselves in under a minute. They would look panicky and start quickly listing facts, identities – “I play soccer, I have a little sister, uhhh, I’m in 9th grade? My favorite color is yellow? We moved in 3rd grade.. Uhhhh” only to quickly realize that they really didn’t have 60 seconds worth of things to say about themselves. The things they considered important about themselves, the way they identified themselves, usually came down to a few things: their age, their extra-curricular activities, their family structure, and sometimes, a tv show or type of music they really liked.
Any of us who knew those kids knew they were a lot more than that, we knew they were outgoing or shy, creative, selfish, persistent, thoughtful, justice-oriented, open-minded, or any of the other myriad of things a person can be. But they got caught in this shortcut of believing that who they were, their identities, were just a few facts about them: how their time was scheduled, their family structure, maybe a hobby or interest.
A lot of us never really get past that shortcut in how we think about ourselves, especially those of us in ministry. Our social identities often collapse into a singular role: pastor. Whether small town or big city, lay or ordained, high church or low church, being a spiritual leader is such an all-encompassing and critical piece of our identities, reflective of the call of the Holy Spirit on our lives, that all the other things we are can fade.
Not just at work, but in our social groups, in our families, in our neighborhoods, we become “the pastor.” This shapes the questions people ask us, the things people will (or won’t) talk about when we’re around, and the expectations on our behavior. Being a pastor, or church leader of any title, is a high and holy calling, and it only makes sense that once we take on that identity, it shapes so much of our lives. It is more than a job, and it should feel like more than a job.
But it’s also not everything. Psychological research suggests that the more complex our social identity (not just husband, pastor, father – but writer, uncle, Trekkie, San Diego native, Chargers fan, gardener, voting rights activist, hot sauce enthusiast) the more creative we tend to be, and the better we become at understanding the perspectives of others. Complex social identities make us flexible, open-minded, and empathetic, particularly to people who aren’t like us.
Which means part of being the best pastor we can be is making sure we’re more than just “the pastor.” We at Ministry Incubators are deeply invested in the work of innovation in ministry, and one of the keys to successful innovation is leveraging the unique gifts of the community, the congregation, and yes, you, the pastor, to pursue the calls of the Holy Spirit for work other than congregational leadership. That requires you having a good sense of what those gifts and calls are.
This week, take some time to wonder, if I asked you to tell me everything important about yourself in under a minute, what are all the things you might say you are after pastor. Those things, the hobbies, passions, interests, idiosyncrasies, all those things you are other than a pastor, might very well be the fertile ground where the Holy Spirit calls you next.
*This was originally written by Kat Bair, one of my fellow consultants, on 9/25/25 over at our Ministry Incubators Blog.
